Tuesday, September 27, 2016
Voice lesson on detail
Choose a color and describe a scene using at least three varieties of
that color. Try to mix details of landscape and people. Share your
description with the class on the blog, and comment on at least one
other blog post (effects created through the use of detail,
effectiveness...). Due by Wednesday, October 5th (both your blog post
and your reaction to another post).
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ReplyDeleteAs we walked deeper and deeper into the forest, the colors of the trees seemed to deepen also. What used to resemble a lime green tinge was slowly turning to pine, passing by a mossy green and juniper. As the colors darkened, the atmosphere seemed to follow : the boy in the emerald anorak walking in front of me stood out against the dark forest but he seemed to be slowing down and I was soon standing beside him, both of us facing an immense wall of the darkest myrtle couloured ivy we had ever seen.
ReplyDeleteThanks for getting the blog posts started, Eilis. Great job!
DeleteToday I have learned that Myrtle is, in fact, green, as opposed to the purple I for some reason imagined it to be. You learn new things everyday.
DeleteI like how the boy is only introduced in the middle of the text, it makes him seem more mysterious, as well as the gradual shadowy-ness oftheforest you describe. I don't really agree with 'lime-green', though. It sounds too bright and yellow-green for a forest that seems to bemore cool and blue-green.
Other than that, great job!
Haha yes we do. I liked that colour for the beginning because it made me think of the border of the forest where there is still lots of sun which would explain the yellow.
DeleteThanks :)
I really felt the atmosphere, your choice of words and the introduction of a character makes it even more realistic and personal, congrats Eilisou
DeleteThe wind suddenly dropped to a low, moaning whistle, barely discernible over the soft slurp of the steel-grey sea. We looked back up into the air; the sky was a boiling, blue-black mass, with enormous dark clouds tumbling over each other, churned up like the inky waves of a storm-tossed sea. The entire sky seemed to have rolled itself into a gigantic ball of midnight darkness, flecked with paler wisps of chilly grey, and every so often, flashes of electric blue would light up the shadowy mass from deep inside. Tendrils of lightning flickered intermittently down towards the surrounding sea, reaching down almost to the bent, cracked mast of the wreck out on the reef. All in all, the storm looked like some colossal monster, bearing down upon our tiny island and ready to devour it in its gaping maw of deepest indigo.
ReplyDelete-Mia Pellenard
I really like the imagery you use, it really makes the scene clear. You also have very good vocabulary ! The only downside for me would be that you didn't include any characters but that really isn't a big problem.
DeleteGood job on your work ! :)
I love how you managed to create coloured details as well as an electric atmosphere. Your vocabulary is on point and you respected the directions. Great Job, Mia.
DeleteLéa JACQUIN
A soft breeze caressed my cheeks and I opened my eyes, thus meeting a deep purple sky. I had to go back, I knew I had to. However I also knew the punishment I would suffer for staying outside so late and I as looked at my arms covered by violet bruises, I decided to stay. The flowers around me were fascinating. The mauve clematis and amethyst thistle had imitated the sky and darkened to a profound imperial purple. If I looked into the distance, I could almost see my house and its lavender walls, their colour surely deepened by the darkness enveloping everything. I could almost hear the people inside yelling at me, at my bright lilac hair and aubergine lips. But here, cradled by a sweet fragrance and surrounded by my favourite colour, here, I felt safe.
ReplyDeleteThis is very well done and you used varieties of purple very well :)
Delete-Jade C
I'm amazed by the effectiveness of your text, it really hooked me! GREAT USE OF VARITITES OF PURPLE! Good job ;)))
DeleteI'm really touched by your comment Mi. In fact I wanted to impress you so I'm REALLY happy it worked ;)))
DeleteTHANK YOU
I'm glad I touched you ;) By the way, ignore the little typo, I was a little bit overwhelmed after reading your beautiful text. Hope you forgive me ;)
DeleteNo problem dear!! This pleases me even more, I didn't know I could have this effect on you... ;)
DeleteI was admiring the deep pink sunrise on the hill when she arrived. Her cheeks were covered by a coral pink as she was blushing from the freshness of the air. She admired the sunrise too, sitting on the grass still wetted with the morning dew. She was now part of the landscape and I admired her as well. She stood up, observed down the hill, and went down there. She came back with fuchsia and magenta flowers, merging with her lavender rose dress. Meanwhile a figure appeared. This was another woman, even a girl who reflected youth with her fresh ruby lips and her salmon pink glow. This girl came to her with a carmine box ; the woman briefly smiled while opening it. They barely spoke to each other but seemed blithe to see each other. I watched them leaving ; the pink shades of the sky disappeared, and so does her.
ReplyDelete- Jade C
You write in a beautiful way and you use many sorts of pink which produces a very precise description.
DeleteWell done !
Clément M
so did her*
ReplyDelete- Jade C
*so did she!
ReplyDeleteThe sun was just dipping behind the horizon, flooding the hills and fields with red. Not any red but the finest deepest red you could find on the best work of Art. Its gracious colour was not just colouring the setting but also metamorphosed the field. The wheat was rippling as if part of a sea of fire. The leaves were of a deep crimson as the trees were on fire sending endless yellow, orange and finally red spurts to those behind. The sky was just a piece of art as if an artist came along and painted it: it started ahead of us as an fiery gold surrounded by a really warm red edging with crimson and deep rose colour and ending finally was a blackish red reminding us that this moment was not eternal. All of the farmers working on the field were black demons were moving in harmony with the surrounding sea of lava constantly changing shade due to its rippling. Even the wind was red; it came at us with a soft but decisive force as if the sun was sending its warming colours into the darkness beyond.
ReplyDeleteCamille
I really like the way you represented the farmers in contrast with colour red, it is very imaginative. However there was a hih repetition of the word "red" which is a shame because you used many words to describe it but still left the word red
DeleteI sat a few seconds, just to have the pleasure of admiring her with an enwavering attention. She was enjoying the warmness of the forest during the fall season, and was slightly creaking on the honey and amber dried leaves. She turned back and her ginger curly hair majestically swirled. Her tangerine long dress, floating in the wind, perfectly suited the place. She smiled at me, took my hand, and guided me to the road. We edged to the city, hand in hand, the salmon sunset watching over us.
ReplyDeleteLéa P
I really liked the atmosphere you created, orange is a warm color and you used it very properly.
DeletePia
I looked at the dark red of the wine on the table. It perfectly matched the present atmosphere. Her cheeks, usually so pale, turned into the red of a tomato as she was blushing with embarrassment. Her oxblood eyes filled with deep anger were about to explode. It was just a matter of time. She was pinching her carmine lips furiously. I remembered how everything used to be perfect : me twisting my fingers around hers, painted in a rosy red, her picking the strawberries in our garden, her wearing her venetian red dress to come here today... To escape the situation, I gazed at the tree outside the restaurant. The auburn leaves of autumn were falling down on the fire brick sidewalk. She looked at me once more, took off the ruby ring and silently left.
ReplyDeleteLéa JACQUIN
I found the description really realistic. The colors you used to describe the character and the environment really brings to us a certain atmosephere. Well done!
DeleteI really appreciate the way you use the different shades of red: it makes the description really lively. It is realistic and the colors really emphasize the feelings and emotions that you want to convey in your text.
DeleteThat night while I was walking into the sea I realised that everything was orange. I was surrounded by the water reflecting the shades of warm colors. In front of me the sun was orange and entering slower than me into the ocean. Minutes after minutes the sky changed his colors and looked darker. It turned from a pastel color to a fruit color. The sky was on fire. My skin looked tanner and the air turned colder. The pink that filled the sky at the beginning of the sunset had disappeared and been replaced by a multitude of reds and oranges, warning about night fall. The big tangerine floating on the water was now almost hidden behind the vastness of the ocean. I turned around to go back to the golden sand and noticed that my skin was not shining anymore. The sun, the orange and the red were gone, the light too.
ReplyDeleteBertille
Oraaaaange is my favourite colour...
DeleteI like the "tangerine floating on the water" bit. And "the sky was on fire" sounds awesomely cool and very fitting for a sunset. I would have put "minute after minute" instead of minutes, though, but other than that it's great!
P.S: Like the photo ;)
An old woman was standing, her long white smoke hair falling on her soft creamy blouse. The delicate magnolia walls were slowly closing around her, light piercing through the bright, almost anti-flash white clouds visible through the glass roof. In the middle of the wall, above the dirty vanilla finger marks stood a proud and rich cosmic late square with a slightly darker, dusty eggshell outline. Drawing everyone's attention was in this square a deep and pure pearl square emphasized by small Isabelline dots.
ReplyDeleteKasimir Malevitch, a brilliant artist, is the proof that white is not a plain color.
Anna M
Really like the atmosphere you created thanks to the colours and the adjectives !
DeleteIt is very precise and we can clearly see what you wanted to describe ! Nice job Anna !
The tawny leaves will soon fall to the chocolate like ground and meet with their brothers and sisters who are already in the process of becoming one wih the ground. They feel themselves becoming browner, harder and cispier. Their swaying in the wind will soon come to an end. Some will one by one fall into the hickory abyss. Others will be untimely ripped from their branchs by a wicked gust of hickory coloured wind and will meet with their brown fate.
ReplyDeleteJacob H
Nice Macbeth allusion!
DeleteGreat job for being original and choosing brown, which according to one of our Words of the Day, "is anything but nondescript", as you have shown in your short and awesome text. Nothing to say other than wow. A big brown round of applause.
DeleteOh wait yyeah there is something: shame you used "hickory" twice. Maybe a different nut? I know you like your last name, but still, one Hicksory per text is enough.
Ok, enough lame puns. Great job.
As I entered the hut, many colors came to my sight. But at first the shades of coffee and gingerbread of the wooden house made me feel as if in a cocoon. All the flowers were fainted and looked umber; the fire in the chimney reflected a color similar to cinnamon. My friend offered me a hot chocolate and we listened to the soft sound of the wood cracking in the chimney and to the amazing bolt of lightning. I felt safe.
ReplyDeleteInès Chevalier
I really like the atmosphere constructed around your text and the fact that we can imagine ourself in this world with words that appeal to the senses (sight, odors etc). That made me think of a "Far Fom the Madding Crowd" with th word "hut" you used but also to the picture we see on Weheartit for Autumn (with "Hello November" ) I don't know if you understand what I'm saying.. It was just to say that I really enjoyed reading this piece of writing.
DeleteI think you created a great atmosphere in your description, it is very cosy. I really get the feeling of safety and the colors are perfectly matching the feeling and the place you describe.
DeleteIf it is a real place : Can I visit ?
Anna M.
Can I eat the cinnamon-gingerbread-chocolate-coffee house please? Thats how good this is.
DeleteThe two lovers were sitting under the onyx sky, watching and admiring the mixture of darkness and graphite clouds invades the lanscape, as if the waxing moon started to abridge, the leafs were breathing the obsidian air. The place where despair, distrust and disbeleif were born. the two lovers were pulled,pushed kept day after day by this irrevent grim. But seeing the sloe at the end of the suburb.
ReplyDeleteZuhair F
Was their glim of hope
DeleteYou entered this world of fame. Flashes and lights everywhere,blinding your sight as a rush of blood to your head. You didn't know where to put your eyes. You could only see sparkles over this venetian red carpet. A velvety cherry silky gown followed the line of your soft candy skin. Beyond that you were being offered a bond of deep delicious burgundy roses, as deep as your soul that made you blush a scarlet.Suddenly a flow of vermeil sink from nowhere on your face. Panic-stricken you stridently screamed. You ended up in your dentist's crimson waiting room. In fact everything was just illusion.
ReplyDeleteJuliana LAYA
I like your description because of the vocabulary you used, which I think is very precise. We can also feel the tension you are describing and your colour was then well-chosen since it describes danger.
DeleteThe jewellery was sparkling: the golden necklaces were melting in the bronze bracelets, hot under the heavy sun which reflected a canary rhinestone, as shiny as fire, catching and reflecting and catching the rays simultaneously. Her regard was lost between amber, citrine and topaz. She envied all this greatness but only disappointment filled her mind when she left.
ReplyDeleteI like the variation of the shades of Gold "or maybe the yellow", the imagery was written in a perfectly appropriate way with the color you've chosen.
DeleteI really like the way that you used colors that also connote heat (melting, fire, amber (that of a candle)) which really emphasizes the fact that the character is angry at the end.
DeleteCM
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I go back there and I lay on the grass just like when I was a little girl. I remember grandma and I staring at the sunset which almost seemed like fire. We were surrounded by tiger orange flowers as she used to braid my ginger hair. We watched the singing birds I used to call "flying apricots" and the tangerine coloured butterflies while the Sun was slowly leaving a dark and oppressing atmosphere behind him...
ReplyDeleteI really like your text Lou Ann, I was really touching, and the "flying apricots " made it personal and I could really imagine these bird and the same insects too. Good job!
DeleteI will be honest with you Lou Ann, I was deeply touched by your text, I even teared a bit...
DeleteI especially liked the "flying apricots"! This cute comparison to the birds really shows the naivety, ignorance and sensibility of a child. And indeed what sensibility you showed in your description ! And not only was it amazing, there was also a really good use of the shades of orange.
It was truly beautiful !!
A wonderful work chou ;)
I truly liked your text and the atmosphere it gives out! ( I've got to say, the "flying apricots" is my personal favourite ;) )
DeleteGreat work :)))
She was walking in the woods all alone,to escape, for an hour or two, she did not really know. Holding a bottle of burgundy wine in her left hand, she just needed to forget. She was a small creature in a magnificient natural world. She sat near a redwood tree and observed the different shades of the leaves, some were falling, and, for a second, she wondered what it would feel like: to fall. She took the ruby necklace around her neck, and hold it so hard that she almost hurt herself. She wished harder than ever to see it around her mother's neck, and not hers. She missed her.
ReplyDeleteSarah.M
In that moment, whilst I was walking down the beach, everything around me seemed blue. There were no clouds above, only the pale blue sky. And the water was a thousand shades of blue, a light blue color turning darker and darker into a midnight blue the furter out the water went. It was beautiful.
ReplyDeleteGeorgia Cummings
His navy eyes were staring at me. As my gaze deepened into the ocean that was his, I could feel my heart beating faster and faster and the mix of sky and steel blue becoming wilder and vivid. It was too much to bear, and at this moment I decided to observe the sky full of stars, it was shiny and bright I felt like the entire galaxy was here for me. He rejoined me in my contemplation and during this brief instant I could finally say that I was peaceful. Joséphine L.
ReplyDeleteI like how you convey emotions, the way you say that you character couldn't bear the gaze because it was that deep and wild. We are kinda oppressed but also very relaxed by the vision you describe. Very nice description :)
Delete-“And of course, there is no way I am forgetting my daughter's bedroom!”
ReplyDeleteWho thought there would be so many shades of pink ? The walls were of a champagne pink, she apparently took the inspiration from a 1957 vogue release. The bed, surrounded by a net was proudly bearing the heads of Walt Disney's happy little girls. On the shelf, a line of Barbies, all staring at me, were dressed with their fuchsia lab-coats and their lavender party dresses. The floor had been painted cotton candy and it looked like someone had spilled glitter all over the place.
-“Don't you think it is a bit too much?”
-“What? The colour? Oh no, she loves it, we offered her a blue teddy bear once, she completely refused it, believe it or not, she chose everything herself!”
And in the corner, the 6 months old girl was here, wondering what her big toe tasted like.
-Kheira KHANFAR
The different shades of pink added to the kinda creepy atmosphere you created.
DeleteI also really like the personality of the mum (nobody else could have decorated a room like that).
You did a good job ! :)
When is this book going to be published? Can i place an advance order? I want to read more about the delirious dictature of pink this mum seems to want her daughter to live in!
DeleteAnd fuschia lab-coats is something i want included inthe real world. It would make TP's so much more interesting.
This texts is really good!
A disturbing and funny description; I like the details that you included. Also the girl seems really weird ;)
DeleteThere was something different about him, something that none of my friends saw, something that constantly pulled me closer to him.
ReplyDeletePerhaps it was his rosy humid cheeks whenever he'd come back from an exhausting day at the school's gymnasium or maybe his peculiar paradise pink shirt that attracted my eyes since the very first day I encountered him. When the days are chilly, his thin lips tend to fade into charm-like pink whilst in warmer days, they usually transform into a vibrant french rose color. All those shades of pink that he was unconciously exuding were the reasons of his uniqueness and furthermore, they were the reasons that my love for him is continually going to expand.
A very good use of the shades of pink :3
DeleteI like the fact that the speaker was partly attracted to the guy thanks to his shirt (does he wear it everyday ?) !
A very sensual description
Good work Mi :)
She felt something was wrong so she ran home under the lava sky. She came through the scarlet door of her house. It seemed empty which was weird because her parents were supposed to be there. She quietly hung her sangria coat on the wall and followed the flashy red light of the oven to the kitchen. A sudden tear appeared in the corner of her eyes: her parents were both laying on the floor covered in a crimson liquid.
ReplyDeletePia
I really like the combination of the different shade of red to describe your creepy description. It gives this scene the perfect atmosphere
DeleteI really liked it! I think red is a very meaningful colour for most of us and you used it very cleverly!
DeleteAs I was walking in the forest the many shades of green overwhelmed my eyes ! The trees were covered from moss, their leaves had a wonderful light green colour and the ground, a mix of moss, fallen leaves and earth had a multitude of colours, from light to dark green including sage-green or bottle green ! Even the sky had a beautiful aqua colour. It spread a comforting atmoshpere and I kept walking peacefully .
ReplyDeleteClément Mercier
Trapped into a a charcoal grey chair, he could only look at his window. His face permanently turned to the endless sky, his gaze loosing itself among the smoke grey cloud. He could not hear, nor speak. His mind was far away from the reality, and he was just able to see an incomprehensible world. For him nothing matter. The doctors were all as the same, strangers with a pewter grey mask. Nothing more. And the building coloured by iron grey dirt on their wall were the only details he could connect his attention to. He was not only trapped into his chair, he was trapped into his mind.
ReplyDeleteVictor Blocaille
It's great how you managed to take a colour that barely even qualifies as one, and made it express so many things. I can perfectly imagine the scene, it is very descriptive. A few spelling glitches, losing instead of loosing, an s at the end of matters, trappend in instead of into, just trivial things.
DeleteReally good job on this.
You did a great job Victor. Although it may have been hard for you to write this, you make it look easy!
DeleteA storm was coming. As she was slowly walking underneath the rain,she felt as if the world was collapsing around her. The whiteness of the clouds earlier this morning had turned into a gainsboro color. Her pace was slowing down and the sidewalk seemed to be of a sad,dim gray. Suddenly she couldn't move and the sky was almost black,the world had stopped moving.
ReplyDeleteAs I was looking into his eyes, I noticed the peachy tint of his skin, rough and pleasant at the same time. I started to follow with my finger a vein that went sinuously on all his arm. His hairs bristled: it was getting colder and colder. Indeed, the sun was showing us its last bittersweet shades. Soon it would get dark but we could still see the light rays changing the yellow sand into a pumpkin color. I can remember this day as it was not long ago.
ReplyDeleteI really like your description Jade! I love the words you chose to describe the different shades and we can feel like there is a general tranquil and peaceful atmosphere
DeleteGood job! :)
He was sitting there, on the magenta floor. A policeman grabbed him and carried him out of the room. I was abashed. Blood recovered the walls, the ceiling and the floor. The bathtub was being emptied by the Miami Metro Police. All I could focus on was the endless tears of the husband and the boy crying. A pale woman was lying there, naked, her eyes were as red as the color of the water in which she was slowly dying. A small window above her let us see the sky, oddly hued that day. From both the sky and the eyes a tear escaped. However, for one of them, it was the last.
ReplyDeleteMathilde
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThe sky was fire.
ReplyDeleteEverything seemed to be tinted by that scarlet glow ; the light reflected on the walls and the amber cabinet in the corner.
It made her golden hair turn into the most gracious copper red and her chestnut eyes into golden toasted auburn.
They watched the sunrise in a peaceful silence ; the sun was a fiery red, like a shiny orange hanging into the sky. That thought made him laugh and she couldn't help but carefully examine his honey-coloured skin and his curly chestnut hair which had turned to the colour of rust.
You used so many words to represent colors! I really like how you use the colors to create a peaceful atmosphere,
DeleteGood job!
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DeleteI sat down on the hard rocks, covered in lime lichen. The energy from the sun ran through the foggy air before reaching the large trees and giving them a parakeet colour. I closed my eyes and let the emerald green reach and vitalise my mind. Now all my senses were aware of the life surrounding my fragile body. Even though the strong juniper green from the water beneath me was warning me of how breakable I was, I knew I was fine, surrounded by all these rays of light running through my soul and making me whole.
ReplyDeleteThe way you portrayed feelings through nature without one taking the advantage on the other is remarkable ! You also used a simple but very efficient vocabulary. Great job :)
DeleteI took a few steps closer to the edge of the cliff, slowly taking in the breathtaking beauty of the sight in front of my eyes. A royal blue shimmery sheet that seemed to only end in the Egyptian blue horizon. Denim waves crashing themselves on the shore, creating a strangely soothing sound. I took off my navy blue jacket and laid it on the sandy ground, sitting cross-legged on it. I let out a long sigh I did not even realize I was holding in. With all the madness from the recent events put at the very back of my mind, as if taken away by the soft breeze gently caressing my face, I let myself get lost in the contemplation of the infinite azure paradise.
ReplyDeleteShiraze RIDANE
Don't fell from the cliff please, we need you.
DeleteI enjoyed the atmosphere you created,especially its appeal to the senses like the soft breeze on your face,or the waves crashing themselves on the shore.
Among all those red and blue books, she was like a black and white painting. The kind that draws attention and is always in some place in your head; never forgotten, never buried. She had those ebony eyes that squinted at the clock every five minutes, betraying her of her impatience. She was waiting, anticipating, and if she could, she would have been pacing. Her slender fingers, that she had painted in a charcoal colour carefully for the occasion, were tapping a beat on her binder that was covered by her distracted and meaningless little drawings. She truly was like a painting, and the more details I noticed about her, the more I was attracted by her bewitching appearance. Jet-black hair in contrast with a big bright mouth, pinkish cheeks and a radiant smile. A muse, an hidden treasure, a true sunbeam, oh how could I forget her, she's my everything.
ReplyDeleteI arrived on the crime scene at dawn, but it was already too late. Her bluish lifeless body was lying of the ground, but a sparkling light still illuminated her azure eyes. A pale blue light emphasized her wound : fresh blood flowed on the asphalt road still wet by the dew. Her angel like face was soiled by blue scratches. I couldn’t realize, I felt my heart beating faster inside me.
ReplyDeleteBlanche
I was late so I ran straight in tripping twice on the way. I had just arrived into the entrance hall when the sight of her stopped me in my tracks. She was perfect. She glided down the ivory staircase with an air of quiet serenity; her eggshell lace dress floating around her. Her hair was pinned up and interwoven with cream coloured flowers. Vanilla silk slippers peeked out from beneath her skirt. She stilled in front of me before asking:
ReplyDelete-"Are you ready?"
-"Always." I answered without hesitating.
Lucy